Saturday 8 December 2012

GUEST POST BY STACY EATON



Sandra – Thank you very much for allowing me to come on your blog and talk about my newest novel, “Whether I’ll Live or Die”. I thank you so much for inviting me to come here to talk about a very sensitive and important topic.
“Whether I’ll Live or Die”, is not your sweet little romance novel and it’s not some comfy mystery novel with a happy ending of the bad guy going to jail. This book was written to be real. It is an intense and raw novel about a very big problem in society today, Domestic Violence.
Domestic Violence is a messy subject. There is not cut dry responses to it. It affects more people then you can imagine, some are lucky to survive, some live their lives in constant fear and others find freedom only in death.
It does not have any boundaries. It doesn’t care if you are black or white. You can live in a trailer or a million dollar home.  And it is not always about physically being struck. It can be as simple as someone controlling your every move. It can be over domineering in the bedroom or making your mentally feel like you are nothing.
I have been asked many times why I wrote this novel and where I got the material for it. The answer for why I wrote it is simple. The story needed to be told and it needed to be told in a way that it could reach those that have felt the hand of abuse and those that knew nothing of it.  It was written so that people who have been victims could relate and so that people who have been lucky enough to have never witnessed it could understand what a victim feels like.
As for where the material comes from, well that is a whole different subject. First of all, know that I am a police officer. I see abuse of one kind or another every single day in my job. Some people I have been able to help, some I have not.  Many of the things that I write about are bits and pieces of the things that I have seen in my twelve years on the job.
As for the emotions and the pain that are portrayed inside my book, they are real. The come from memories of a lifetime I have left behind.  I am one of those that saw abuse through my life and I found a way to take control of it and remove it. I am one of the lucky ones.
So many times in my career, I have heard people say, “Why doesn’t she just leave him?” It’s not as simple as that, God how I wish it was. Victims have generally had all self-esteem trampled on. They are controlled in a way you cannot understand unless you have been there.  Many times they feel they are the ones at fault. That they are getting just what deserved.  You know that old saying, “I made my bed and now I have lie on it”? Well they are prime examples of the people who live that.
Yet, they are not the ones at fault. They are victims.
My goal for writing “Whether I’ll Live or Die” was to reach out to as many people as I could so that they could understand what a victim endures and why it isn’t easy to just walk away. I wanted people to see what happens behind closed doors of your neighbor’s house. What your children and their friends might be seeing at home. I also wanted to show that there is a way out if only you have the courage to find it.
Thank you very much Sandra for allowing me to visit here today. I hope that your readers take the time to read this story and share it with others. The more people that read it – the better for our society and the victims that deal with this. 

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